Where to begin

So Kale has EOE as I said before and there is a good chance the other boys do too.
We just got Kasen's lab work back and he was allergic to at least 14 things, including wheat, carrots, pears, sesame seeds, peanuts and so many others I can't remember. He has not seen the GI doctor yet so we are not sure he has the same condition as his brother but all the signs point to the fact that he does.
I have not had a formal meeting with the allergist about all this yet she just told me through the nurse that I am to remove milk, eggs, dairy and peanuts forms Kales diet and milk, watermelon, peanuts and all grains from Kasen's .
I have spent the last few days being completely and utterly overwhelmed by just the thought of how I will possibly remove all those things from their diets. I don't even know where to begin.
I also am unsure of exactly how the allergist picked those specific food s to remove out of all they are allergic to. How do you remove all grains from a kids diet?? So I had a breakdown, actually a few and then I went to work scouring the Internet for information on this disease and allergies and food elimination diets.
I am still overwhelmed and confused and unsure where to go from here.. But I am moving forward. I have a set of questions for the allergist when we see her, a dietitian lined up and an appointment with a second GI for another opinion. We have gone dairy free and peanut free already and are slowly working towards tackling wheat and soy.
After learning more about this disease I am so thankful that my children are not sicker, I feel thankful they are able
To eat at all, as lots of children with this condition have feeding tubes, but I am also sad for them, sad that they have to be different, that there life has to be harder, that our lives have to be harder.
The other two boys will have bloodwork soon and I pray they will be spared the same fate as their brothers but if not, we will deal with that too. But if you have a moment please pray for us. Pray for everyone affected by this horrible disease.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A whole new world

Well the tests came back and my sweet Kale does have eosinophilic esophagitis, so the good news is we know what is wrong with him and the bad news is we have to change his diet and remove some of the things he loves the most.  He is allergic to so many things that he doctor decided to try the things most irritating to the stomach first and continue his allergy shots to help with the other things he is allergic too which are mostly pollen related. He is also starting twice daily Pulmicort mixed with applesauce to heal his esophagus and stomach. The three things we have to remove now are eggs, dairy and peanuts. The eggs and peanuts are not so bad, he has always hated eggs (now we know why) and peanuts are no big deal, but the milk is a killer. He loves milk so much and cheese. So we are trying almond milk as the doctor recommended and looking for new foods but it is so hard to have to tell an 8 year old who is used to eating certain things that he can no longer eat those things. He is doing well but it makes me so sad to have to say he can't eat things he loves.
   We are in the process of testing the other boys for this condition since it runs in families and especially in boys.
   

I don't get manicures

   I don't get manicures, or pedicures.  I don't buy jewelry, or pay to get my hair colored. I don't drive an expensive car or even a new car. I don't go on vacation, I rarely go to restaurants without a drive through. I don't buy anything thats not on sale, I rarely buy myself clothes that are not second hand. My children pass clothes down and then to friends. My husband and I rarely have a date and have only on three occasions in 10 years spent the night away from our children. When things break we don't buy a new one, we fix the broken one and if that fails we buy a used replacement, as a last resort we scour the internet and sale ads for the best deal on whatever it was or we live without it.
   We don't buy our kids whatever they want. Most things in our house are repainted, refinished, recycled or handmade.
   I think it is safe to say we are not frivolous. Could we do better? Yes. Couldn't we all. There are times we buy Sonic drinks that are not half price or pay full price for a movie ticket but for the most part we really try, to save and scrimp and live below our means.
   Does that mean we can live comfortably with our income? No. We are recovering from a loss of income and a bankruptcy, we have six kids. I can't imagine things ever being easy financially for us.
   We sacrifice a lot, we say no a lot, we plan and budget and pray. But the one thing we will not sacrifice is our marriage, our family or our time together.
    People often wonder why my husband doesn't get another full time job or why I don't work a second job to help out.  While we are looking at, revising, and making new plans every day, the one thing that remains the same is always, if we have to be gone 24 hours a day and leave our children in the hands of strangers, give up our time together and let our marriage fall apart, then it isn't worth it.
  Living without manicures, new cars, jewelry no problem.  Raising 6 kids alone while my husband works 24/7 and we still barely scrape by, no thank you.
   So judge us all you want. Pick and pull at our decisions, all you want. We will get back on our feet, we will move forward, as a family. We will do this together.
   So when people ask me why I don't get pedicures or why my hair always looks so frazzled I just smile. Because I know those things don't matter, what matters is my children can have a mommy and daddy who set aside all the petty things in life to make time for them.
 

Like breathing

I found this amazing blog today and I had to share. Think breastfeeding moms are fanatical? Weird?  Earthy? Hippies? Well I challenge you to read the  post below written by Diana Cassar on her blog http://dianaibclc.com/. She has an amazing way of portraying the act of breastfeeding as it should be, a loving, natural gift from a mother to a child. 

Normal, like breathing.No one argues that breathing is a normal, biological process that we, as human mammals, do.  We take it for granted, until it becomes difficult.  Then, we seek help to make it work again, because, it’s breathing.  Human mammals breathe.  It’s normal. Breathing promotes life.I’ve struggled for years with the cultural attitude that breastfeeding, another life-giving, biological process undertaken by human mammals, is something other than normal.  A lifestyle choice, perhaps.  Extra credit.  If it becomes difficult (and, let’s face it, here in the United States, there are too many reasons breastfeeding becomes difficult),  we are called to heroism, to extraordinary depths of commitment if we are to make breastfeeding work.  How have we allowed this basic mammalian behavior to live on the fringe, as a matter of opinion, not a birthright for every baby born?Last night, I participated in an online discussion about a mother from a subculture within our own, with a very severe breast injury, caused by an anatomical abnormality with her baby’s tongue.  Someone noted that this mother persisted through her immense pain because breastfeeding is important to women in her community.  I nodded my head in agreement at the computer screen, then read this profoundly wise response:“I don’t think it’s so much that breastfeeding is important to her as that breastfeeding is what they do.  We don’t treat asthma in mothers to whom breathing is important. The importance of breathing is assumed by everyone at every level, and anyone having trouble with it is going to do what she needs to do to get it to work.  Period.  What a wonderful world it will be – and how much more easily successes will come – when breastfeeding is nothing more than what our own culture does.“Those words, from Diane Wiessinger, IBCLC and La Leche League Leader in Ithaca, New York (and co-author of the 8th, revised edition of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding), struck me so powerfully.  I wrote to Diane and asked her permission to title my new blog “normal, like breathing” and to share her simple, yet rich words with all of you.  To my extreme good fortune, she happily agreed.You’ll get to know me better as you visit this website.  I welcome you here with a smile and a hug (if you’re a hugger), and I envision normal, like breathing as a tool that can bring our culture closer to embracing breastfeeding as “nothing more than what our own culture does.” Not special, not heroic, not if, then, either, or.  I’ll blog about breastfeeding topics in the news, about commonly-held perceptions and misconceptions about breastfeeding and human milk, and about subjects related to all of the above.  I encourage questions and dialogue.I began my breastfeeding journey in December, 2002, with a newborn daughter and an onslaught of obstacles.  I received support, and in turn desired to give support to mothers.  As a La Leche League Leader and, since 2009, as an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC), I enjoy helping mothers but realize our healthcare providers and larger community need accurate, current information.After a few years of writing, speaking, and advocating for breastfeeding education, I discovered my calling to public service.  I hope to be part of a growing movement of maternal/child health advocates and policymakers who are normalizing breastfeeding in the United States.  Won’t you join me?

eosinophilic-esophagitis anyone?

  Ever heard of Eosinophilic-Esophagitis? Well neither had I...Until my most recent visit to the allergist with Kale.
 This boy has taken us for quite a medical ride. He lierally has the worst allergies I have even seen in anyone. On top of that since he was born he has had horrible reflux, ear infections, asthma, pneumonia, eczema  and various other ailments.
   We have seen specialists galore in an attempt to make hime feel better but so far with not much resolution.
   He has been on every allergy medication under the sun, too many steroids, antibiotics and inhalers to count and had 3 surgeries and a year so far of allergy shots.
  Still he keeps getting worse. The child can NEVER breathe out if his nose, gets lousy sleep and generally feels miserable all the time.
  So we went to an allergist this week that we had seen previously with all his new info to see if she could find anything new.
   His immune system is intact so thats good but they are concerned he has eosinophilic-esophagitis, which is basically an allergy induced reflux that is caused by allergy cells lining the esophagus and stomach. When he breathes in or eats something he is allergic to it causes these cells to swell firm his nose to his stomach. Which is why his nasal and stomach symptoms are not controlled currently. This could also mean he has undetected food allergies.
  He had lots of blood work this week and will undergo a endoscopy to biopsy some tissue from his esophagus and stomach to look for these allergy cells. If they are found he will began oral steroids 2x  day and we will have to change his diet to remove all the foods he is allergic to.
  On one hand I am happy that maybe we are on the right track and maybe he can finally be free of these annoying and debilitating issues but on the other I cannot imagine having to change an 8 year olds diet when he is already a horribly picky kid.
   If you know anyone who knows about this condition, please send them this way!! And please pray we can find an answer for my sweet boy.

Move to the country and life insurance

Kids say the craziest  things... how many times have you heard that one? But it is as we all know true! I just love listening to my boys talk to one another, I catch some real gems that way. Like this conversation the  other day. 

Kasen (6) to Kale (8) - "Do we have life insurance?"

 Kale" Yes!! Of course, we have State Farm.."

Kasen" Why do we have State Farm?"

Kale " Because they are the most amazing insurance company ever! Thats why"

Kasen satisfied with the answer says "Oh.. ok, just checking" 

Conversation over...

Then today on the way home, Kasen, with life insurance on the brain apparently, says

"Mom, can we PLEASE buy a farm?"

Me " Kasen, farms are very expensive"

Kasen" Well we could use one of your credit cards"

Me " We don't have credit cards, we have debit cards" Long convo, about debit cards, followed by

"Well we could use your life insurance to buy it.." 

Me" Kasen it does not work that way"

 

How does he know what life insurance is???? He is 6!! 

Decisions, decisions...

 It seems as though we are always at a crossroads in our family. My husband, as most people know is a firefighter and loves his job. We cannot however, survive on his fire pay alone. He was blessed for a while with a great second job with a homebuilder but if you have read my blog long you know that ended when the housing bubble burst. He has since been running a lawn spraying business but recently sold it  after much debate and prayer. It just wasn't working out for our family, too many hours, unpredictable schedule and not enough income for all the hassle.
   So we find ourselves again in a period of transition. Finding a job is difficult for him because of his fire schedule, 24 hour shifts 10 days a month. He was offered a job with another homebuilder but they want him to work everyday he is off at the station 9-5 with a 45 minute commute. That would equal 0 time at home and me being pretty much a single parent.
   It sounds selfish I guess but I am not looking forward to handling this brood alone. I have done it before and I was a stressed out mess. Plus my children need their father home sometimes. It is not like he is home every weekend or every evening. But what are we to do??
   I was in school last semester but was denied my financial aid this semester and so am on hold now. I have no degree and so I cant see me getting a job that pays well enough for him to just have the fire job....It would be different if we had one child, but six kids with schedules, laundry and meals are hard to handle alone.
 I know women do it all the time, but I just don't think I can do it.
So I guess for now we pray..that something better comes along. I could rant and rave about this longer but I won't. If you have a minute will you pray for our family. Pray that we can find the answer to our financial issues without losing our family time.  In return let me know how I can pray for you!!

School days 2012

Sigh...I forgot to post the boys back to school pictures. I try, and I try to post here but it just isn't always top of my list. But I do love blogging and reading blogs so much. Anyway without further ado..Back to school 2012. Knox is in pre k and loving his teacher (an old family friend) I was worried about him because he can be wild  but he is doing great, apparently separated from his brothers he is quite sweet :) Kasen is in 1st grade and has the same teacher Kale had in1st grade. Kale was so nervous for two days before school but is happily adjusted now and loving school.
  Krews stared 2 day a week mothers day out at a church near our house while I work. I was terrified he would cry but he shot out of the car and into his room like a rocket, not a tear in site (except for mine) he loves going to school like his "brudders" and is always smiling when I get him at days end.
   I am so blessed to have such great schools and that my boys enjoy school so much. It makes it so much easier to leave them and work when I know they are happy to be at school.
  No pics of my high school Sophomore and SENIOR!!!! But they are doing great too!

A new room..

Since we have lived in this house I have painted this room 3 times! 1st it was going to be Krew's room, then it was a study and now it  is back to being Krew's and Knox's room!
    When we bought this house the previous owners were using the garage as a in hime daycare. We just left it as a room and Kale, Kasen and Knox have been sharing it. We always co-sleep with our babies until they are about 2. We decided to move Knox out and in with Krews. That left the big boys free to play during nap and more play space.
   The little boys decided they wanted a robot room. I finally got it all done and they have been in it three days! They love it and both are sleeping through the night, a bit feat since Krews has always slept in our bed. He has done amazing and is so proud every morning to say " I slept all night in my bed!".

   The big boys are changing their room to a comic book theme, stay tuned for those pictures!
I made all the pictures on the wall, the banner and the cogs. I think it turned out pretty well and they seem to love it. Yay for a goodnights sleep!! Don't get me wrong I love sleeping with my babies, but man it feels good to have my bed to myself!!

EYE SEE YOU!

Sweet boy

We went to meet the teacher night and my sweet Kale came home and threw up. Poor guy was so stressed out about school starting he made himself sick and the crazy thing is he is scared he won't pass! The boy was in gifted and talented last year, he made nearly perfect scores on almost every paper he turned in and he is scared he won''t pass. Poor kid is so much like his mother. It breaks my heart to see him worry. I wish I could take it all away but all I can do is pray. I know he will do great , I just wish he knew.

This moment

Kale, Kasen and Knox start school Thursday and today we spent a magical day at the Zoo celebrating our last day of summer. The weather was awesome and there were very few people there. It was amazing. We are fortunate to have one of the top rated zoo's in the nation in our state and my boys and I love spending days there marveling in all the wonderful creatures of God.
   Kale is in to all things nature related. He dreams of being Bear Grylls or the guy from River Monster's Jeremy, whatever his name is. It warms my heart to see him get excited to see fish and name them correctly. I wish more people took an interest in the other inhabitants of our planet.  But that is another topic for another day.
    The day was pretty perfect! After spending the last weeks feeling like I would go crazy if they were home another second, today I became sad that school is starting. Yes, summers are long and crazy and they fight, make messes, scream and snack too much..But man do I miss them when they are not here. Every year I cry when I drop them off. But for today I savored spending, unhurried time in the great outdoors with my sweet baby boys who are growing up way too fast!

On a side note we have a Chimpanzee at our zoo who has one arm! Her mother died shortly after giving birth and the baby was born with an infection, they tried to control it but the only way to stop it was to amputate her arm below the elbow.   She is amazing to watch and the boys are fascinated by her.  The other chimps are very protective of her and she is a bit onary! So precious.  She is also a great conversation starter about being different and not seeing someone as handicapped but handi-abled!

I am obsessed..

I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to paint something! So I broke down and painted the entertainment center to match our coffee table. I love how it turned out! Really brightened up the room and I got rid of that stupid glass in the doors and replaced it with chicken wire! No more finger printed glass!!

Collages

I decided to make collages of all the kids. It was so fun making these. I still don't have M's done but I  will shortly.  I had never used a storyboard templete before but I am hooked now.

What a summer alternately titled catching up

WOW, I cannot believe summer is almost over. It has been a hectic, hot, crazy summer. We have had some of the hottest temps. on record here for more days than I care to count which makes it hard to find things to keep 4 active boys entertained. There has been way too much movie watching this summer.
     This is the first summer I have had a job, so it has been interesting trying to juggle everything. I also got back in school and completed my first college course in over five years! It was so wonderful. I made an A!
   Kale and Ashleigh both had surgeries in the last three weeks. Ash tore her meniscus (knee) and had it fixed today. Now it is 6 weeks on crutches and physical therapy after that.  Kale had a badly deviated septum that was keeping him from breathing well and making his allergies worse. He had is fixed and feels so much better already.  Thank God for insurance!
    Everyone else had been well, just trying to adjust to the crazy schedule of this summer and keep cool. Krews thinks he is Captain America and wears a mask almost everywhere. Kasen has been totally into helping his daddy and asking 1 million questions a day! Knox has been crazy and wild as usual and M has been working, saving for a car and preparing for his senior year.
      The boys are all back in the school they were in year before last. It just made since, now that I am working. Plus they never got over asking about it and we love it there. Now Knox will be in all day prek with his brothers. Krews will be going to a great church mother's day out program while I work and I am both scared and excited for him. I know he will learn so much and enjoy the other kids but I hate to see my baby grow up.
       It seems as though things will never "settle" down around here. There is always a new challenge, a new problem to solve. We have been in a rut lately, not praying like we should, not attending church regularly and trying to solve everything ourselves rather than seeking God's direction. I am reminded lately just how much we have been lacking in that area and we are working to remedy that. I know we can't do this alone, I know God has a plan for us, I know life can be better, all we have to do is ask.
   I just wanted to pop in and say hello. I miss reading your blogs, I miss blogging here. Hopefully I will be able to be better about posting here in the months ahead. But who knows! If there is one thing God is showing me in not so subtle ways lately it is that I cannot do it all, I have to let some things go. I cannot have the perfectly clean house, keep perfectly documented scrapbooks for 6 kids and post to a blog frequently no matter how much I desire those things.

   I will leave you with a few pics of our summer! To the 2 of you still reading, thanks!

Breastfeeding questions

 I am so incredibly busy with kids, school, work and LAUNDRY that I haven't had time to read blogs or write on mine but I have a question if there is anyone out there reading this!!  I am learning  so much about just how much the general population and even the medical community don't know about breastfeeding. I am trying to put together an education class at work for pregnant moms who have never breastfed, most have never even seen someone breastfeed! So if all of you don't mind commenting and sharing this post with others I would appreciate it. I need to know  what information would have been most important to you as a pregnant mom deciding how toy feed your baby? What information would have made you want to at least try it?

Finding me

What a change. My life has changed, is changing and I am changing with it. I had no idea how good it would feel to be out of the house, to talk to other adults, to have a reason to wear something other than yoga pants!!  I love my children and I thank God that I was able to be at home the last eight years, but man it feels good to be away, to have autonomy.  It really helps that I am doing something I am passionate about, helping other mothers have the same wonderful bonding experience I did.  I  love seeing women excited about breast-feeding, excited to do what God intended them to do. Even better is the mothers who come in worried, having trouble and leave with a smile on their face, renewed with a sense to triumph knowing whatever concern they have is normal. I absolutely love it.  I am so full of hope to see so many mothers, defying societies norms, putting breast-feeding back on the agenda, but more importantly i am excited to see mothers listening to their hearts, questioning advice, demanding information and embracing motherhood!
  Then there is school, aww school. How I have missed you! I love learning. I wish I had not taken it for granted when I was younger. It feels so good to grow, learn and discover new things about the world and myself.
  This is the age of discovery for me. I am changing, reevaluating, and growing so much. I am considering thins I would have dismissed even a year ago, exploring places in myself long forgotten. I am now seeing just how much I have thrown myself into mothering over the last 8 years, which is as it should be. But I think at some point I forgot about myself, my interests and desires. It is a strange feeling to be faced with rediscovering myself.
      Maybe it is just my age? I know lots of my same aged friends are all in a period of change. Whatever it is I like it. I am enjoying the best of both worlds right now. Mommy time, work life, a WHOLE hour lunch to myself!!! And school!
     To all you moms out there I have said this before but never took the advise myself until lately, don't feel guilty for pursuing your own goals! Do not lose yourself completely in mommy land. Show your children that you are a person who deserves happiness too! It is OK to want time away.

Change is NOT my friend

I made it through my first few days of work. I actually LOVE the job but I don't love being away from my kids. I actually had a complete breakdown after day 1, a whole crying, praying for God to help me, lay on the floor in the closet breakdown, yeah...It just all boils down to the fact that I just don't like change. This is a good change, good for me, good for my family, yet I still am struggling. Mind you this is only a part time job, but to me it feels like my world is in an upheaval. This is the perfect job for me, a job I can't get again, I know I will enjoy it but part of me is resisting change, telling me I am a bad mother for choosing to leave my babies, even part of the time. It is crazy, I know. I know I cannot let fear keep me from doing the things I need and want to do, and so I am going to keep moving forward, baby steps...

Happy Birthday Knoxie!

Yesterday my sweet, little curly headed man turned 4! He is stubborn, strong willed and scared of pretty much everything. He will however take his brothers down in a fight! He is learning and growing so much and super excited to be starting school in the fall. I love him to the moon and back.

A new chapter

The past year has been a time of transition for me, my last baby turned one, I had a hysterectomy, and these things signaled to me a the dawn of change.  I began to have an internal conflict about who I was and who I wanted to become and what I wanted to do now that my life would not solely consist of nursing and rocking. It was time for me to think about hopes and dreams I had long put on the back burner, to become something more than a mommy, to redefine myself as a woman, as a separate entity outside my role of homemaker.  While I know my job as a mother it the most important, challenging and meaningful job I will ever have, my heart began nudging me to try something new.  This in no way means I will put my family on a back burner, they will always come first but I think it is important for my children to know that I can do more than change a diaper and for me to feel value in myself, for something other than being a wife and mother.
  I always knew I wanted to go back to school but I wasn't exactly sure what for. I knew it would have to be something I was passionate about, something that involved helping others, something that involved children. I just wasn't sure exactly where I was headed. Then late one night, after hours of internet research, like a lightbulb, the perfect job reveled itself to me.
   Tomorrow I start the first step on a new journey.  Tomorrow I start on the path to become a lactation consultant and doula! Tomorrow after 7 years of being a stay at home mom, after 7 years of no boss, no "real" clothes and no real agenda, I am going back to work, part time at my local WIC office as a breast-feeding peer counselor! I am thrilled God dropped this perfect job into my lap! I am excited to be helping mothers have an amazing breast-feeding experience.   Next month I will also start school online!
  I am excited, scared, worried, and happy. Having OCD really makes it hard to embrace change, even when you know it is a good change. I am being forced to give up control of all the little household things I think no one can possibly do as well as me, having to allow my children to do things for themselves that I normally do for them, to allow others to watch my kids, to put them down for naps and while all of this is exciting and fun it is also scary. Scary or not I am moving forward! Fear is not going to stop me this time!
    Tomorrow I will wake up early, put "real" clothes on and head out the door on my new journey, I will leave the dirty diapers, and lunch duty to someone else and I can't wait!